you know, sometimes i just sit in bed thinking; as im sure everyone else does every now and then. i always think back to the day he asked me to see him, and i just wonder what he would've said. would it have been another heap of bullshit, or would he have actually had a real reason to want to see me. the thing is now, is that i'll probably never know. i don't see myself ever talking to him again..
and after im done thinking about all of that, i always get a sudden urge to want to call him, but then i know i cant. sometimes i just want to be on the phone with someone just to hear what they're doing. but the only person i want to do that with is him. i dont think i could do that with anybody else. not in the same way anyway.
and after im done thinking about that; i start to think about everything else in my life. such as my family and friends and school....
im lucky to have the family i have and all of my friends.
i have friends that probably think i am a total weirdo but still put up with me. friends who see things almost exactly the way i see things and then the

friends who no matter how much history we've had, we can still be close friends and not worry about things that have happened in the past. we live in the moment.

anywho, one week till i turn sixteen!!
goddamn i have mood swings way too often.
just to let everyone know, pins n needles suck!!
i love useless information sometimes :)